I log onto the BBC news website today only to see that a Folk singer has been killed by Coyotes, a 112 year old Somalian man has married a 17 year old girl and an editorial about why fat people are abused. What is the world coming to!?
There have been a number of lolz in the last few days firstly in a tutorial the other day I was distracted by someone who had attempted to make themselves look like Cleopatra with black eye liner. Though this in itself is not overly interesting what captivated my attention was the fact that it was 2mm thick on one eye and 5mm+ thick on the other. Resulting in a kind of retard chic. But this is not it! I was so distracted lolling at this that I had failed to notice a black celtic knot style HEART tattoo smack bang in between her boobs (low cut top.) I think I actually broke an attempt at curbing laughter type smile.
Next was an American guy giving a presentation who despite normally speaking in a 100% American accent decided to speak in a stereotypical American-speaking-English-English London type accent. I don’t know if it was the stress of public speaking that made thing’s go a bit haywire but it only seemed to happen at the beginning of sentences and would gradually fade back to American at the end of the sentence…. Most amusing. Especially as he always seemed to pronounce “Quran” as “corn.” I actually giggled. ”As was revealed in the corn…” ”The corn states that….” ”For Muslims the corn is the highest authority…” ”The corn is the word of God.”
Without my net book for internet fun that 2 hour class would honestly kill me through boredom.
Also I today saw one of the temps that Royal Mail has hired during the postal strikes. Gormless isn’t even the word. At 10.30 he still had a full bag of mail and was walking around in circles in the street. After doing this for a good five minutes he just got on the next bus that went by and was gone. Riiiiiight. Productive.
I have had the day from absolute HELL. As is always the case in times like these, bullet points are needed.
I had a maximum of 3 hours sleep, I had no reason why I couldn’t sleep and just laid there for hours.
The bus broke down a few stops after I got on.
No buses came that would get me closer to my destination for at least 20 minutes.
I had to run far just to get a bus that goes sort of in the right direction.
After leaving really early I get to University with just enough time to have breakfast.
The aforementioned has gone up in price.
After 35 minutes of lecture my net book hibernates when it still has 20% battery.
Obviously having a computer I have no paper and have to take notes in my diary.
All self service oyster top up machines in Russell Square tube are broken
There’s only one kiosk open and it’s half term…
My Blackberry gets an error and every time it’s rebooted it just gets the error again and again.
3 hours trying to re-install the Blackberry OS fail.
I am forced to speak to a retard at Vodafone, who, as the description may hint at – is no use.
Just everything.
I’m actually really really starting to get sick of modern technology. Of facebook of MSN and of getting emails where ever I am. I just don’t care anymore.
Green Day at the London o2. I can’t lie, I wasn’t particularly excited seeing as their newest album “21st Century Breakdown” is well… not particularly good. It has its moments but that’s about it. BUT as I’ve seen them live before I should never really have doubted that it was going to be a good show. They played for 3 hours straight, from 8pm until 11 and it was an energetic show not just them standing around.
As the picture to the right shows there were plenty of tattoo related disasters, little kids trying to be big kids, tu tu’s, luminous articles of clothing purchased in Camden and middle aged parents wearing Green Day t shirts whilst escorting their kids…
In terms of the format it was the same essentially as 2005’s tour, they got kids up to be a “band” etc. But I did get touching distance from Billie Joe as he ran down the side of the crowd so pretty good on that score! He also pulled a full moonie. Again, nice one.
They sang all of the favourites and in a semi acknowledgement that the new album isn’t so strong they only played 4 songs from it if that. All of the people that screamed when asked it they were old skool fans didn’t know the words to most songs pre American idiot and were left blank by the Operation Ivey cover and also the I fought the law/ rock the Casbah/ Teenage kicks/ satisfaction medley. Not being born is not an excuse. I wasn’t born for those four songs.
My crappy compact died and came back alive numerous times and for some reason (this started whilst camping during the summer) the zoom sticks, as in the actual button/dial type thing. Answers on a post card.
I am of the belief that people like Nick Griffin and those who have opinions that are similar to his should be given a platform to speak. Why? Because if they are allowed to speak in public then they will show themselves for the racist pigs that they are and this in turn leads to them making themselves look like complete and utter cunts. This method is particularly effective because it is them and them alone who make themselves look ridiculous and so they cannot accuse anyone else of a conspiracy against them.
I was somewhat annoyed by the small minded people that protested against his appearance on BBC Question time. When will you people realise that publicly dis-inviting him to Question Time would have given the exact publicity he craved. That he is oppressed by the Government that he must fight in a courageous battle to be recognised for his “legitimate” views. The quality of the BBC has arguably been going rapidly down hill in recent years but fair play to the person who stood firm and kept Griffin on the Question Time panel.
What’s more, it is fair to say and no doubt anyone that watched tonights Question Time will agree with me, he made himself look like a complete buffoon. Constantly playing with papers, laughing and generally acting like a child who is way out of his league. All of the other panelists were superb even if at times Jack Straw was kissing a bit too much please vote for me ass. I was especially impressed by Bonnie Greer, how marvellous it must be to exude intelligence in the way that she does.
Nick Griffin, get back in your box because you have well and truly been owned.
Well I was going to start with a more photo diary type format but my little crappy drag around everywhere camera is on the other side of the room so I’ve shelved that idea until next time. Yes, I know, I’m a sloth.
I’ve used being ill as an excuse to eat loads of shit, namely milk ways, aeros, crunchies and milky buttons. The fact I only had the aforementioned in snack sized packets only meant that I ate more small portions as opposed to fewer larger ones. I’m getting a lot better now, I just seemed to snap out of things all of a sudden so I also have to ease up with the calorific low energy treats. Though I’m sure the fact that I’m now moving outside of my bed will generally help matters.
I’m very much in a creative lull at the moment which I need to snap out of because I want to send off my application to Goldsmiths after reading week and need a 20 photograph “interacting with the urban environment” based portfolio to do this. I’m still confused about how the reference works, they only want one and ask for it to be written, it’s part of the application form yet has a tick box asking if it’s ok to make it available to the applicant so I guess it doesn’t automatically get sent with the application form…
Back to the portfolio question, I think that they are quite open (in fact it appears that they are very open) when it comes to the type of photography that you can submit as long as it fits the brief. I figured I would attempt to kick start my imagination and go to a more deprived/ less sanitised part of London as a bit of deprivation always makes a good picture. I’m not going to name the places I was thinking of going for fear of a “I live there and it’s well nice” kind of comment. (Barking/Dagenham direction essentially, where the District line goes scary.)
Also over the weekend (which for me is 4 days – don’t hate the player ya’ll) I want to take one of those “what’s in your bag” pictures. I love looking at those with the exception of when the person who has taken the photo has blatantly staged it to show off all of their things by “X” designer or includes a zillion items of expensive technology that you just really DO NOT carry around everywhere.
I’m sick. It’s not going away. I’ve been popping slightly more than the recommended dosage of extra strength paracetomol since Thursday evening and nothing is going on other than stomach cramps from apparently too much paracetomol. FAIL. If anything life is getting depressingly worse so I’m having to go to the doctor. My tonsils are huge, I have a constant headache and my sinuses? Just don’t go there. My snot is rather green.
I hate going to the Doctor. They’re always so holier than thou and seem to relish stating the very, very obvious. Rarely do I not have a predetermined agenda when going to the doctor and it usually runs along the lines of; I need a prescription and they are simply the means of achieving this rather simple goal.
I collected the bike that I’ve been going on about tonight. As the London transport Nazis won’t allow bikes on buses (but will allow just about everything else) I had to ride it from the person I bought it from’s (nice) house back to my(not so nice) abode. Fine. Only 1.6miles. But. I’m kinda sick. It started to rain. So it ended up as a bit of trek and I nearly went over the handle bars on wet cobbles after owning the bike for all of about 1 minute 30 seconds. It is awesome though and a lot bigger than in the picture which is good, no more knees smashing my chin. (it’s 24″ wheels as opposed to 20″.)
^^ 2004 S E Bikes Floval Flyer. Essentially a BMX cruiser. Here’s to many happy miles around the B roads of London, or at least to Maccie D’s and back. Thank you investment dividend for this new present. In your face credit crunch.
This is a quite tragic and materialistic thing to say but I’m really not bonding at all with my new camera, almost to the point that I don’t really like it. I don’t know why but I’m just not taking to it as a “thing.” I really loved my D60 and actually miss it. Upgrading was the right thing to do, I know that and I saved easily £150 but I dunno, I’m not feeling the love right now. I’m sure it’ll come eventually but for the moment I would really like my actual D60 back.
Normally attempting to initiate outrage in my blog posts by making wide sweeping loltastic statements cheers me up but I’m just not in the mood right now. What I will say is that I wasn’t particularly shocked by this episode of Panorama. My honest opinion is that the behaviour shown towards the undercover reports was disgusting. In fact it was beyond disgusting, I can’t even think of an appropriate word to describe the abuse that was directed at them. Yet is it surprising that this kind of thing goes on? No. Not at all. There’s no point various mori polls and other such bodies of information telling the general public that everything is going swimmingly in society. It isn’t. Just ask the reporters in the video and the people that find themselves in those kind of situations on a daily basis. The sooner we as a society face these issues they can be dealt with. However at the moment there’s the elephant in the room that everyone is pretty much happy to ignore. How big does the aforementioned need to get… seriously?
I found that one of the worst parts were the children. OK big joke I don’t like kids, but more seriously the behaviour of a certain 11 would have made Oswald Moseley, Nick Griffin et al look like a regular decent guys. 11 year olds don’t have strong opinions about anything, they just don’t, they’re 11. The parents however. Now that’s a scary mental image.
So what’s the answer? I have no idea. I can’t help but think that MI5/6 wastes its time trying to pop off people abroad that are deemed “undesirable” when really time and resources would be better spent making sure that these racist, ill educated, not even good enough for glue, thugs have accidents. You know, “accidents” – like when rats chew through both brake cables. - And no, killing them off wouldn’t be reducing ourselves to their level, it would be a public service, much like what Bin men do. (Ha, see I always manage a lol statement of some description…)
Moving on. I know that I’ll get a fair amount of stick for this but I can’t help but like Metro Station. They are essentially an American Busted, though I think a lot better. Anyway, OK – they aren’t that original, the lyrics aren’t that good but you know what!? They are fun to listen to. Sometimes things just exist because. One of my favourite memories of the summer just gone is bombing down country lanes on Cornwall singing/screaming to “Shake it” with one of my best friends. I will say though, and it’s not a secret that I am a La Roux fan but when I read today that Elly Jackson had lost her voice for a few days my first thought was – what voice!? And that’s coming from a fan..
Looking forward to Nandos tomorrow with two brilliant people for company! I’ve been going on numerous pointless excursions of late just to get outside and maybe feel a little bit better for it but it’s nice to be going out for a good reason. Also for NANDOS and gossip!
Here are a selection of entries from the “Daily Mail dictionary.” The thing is hilarious, check it out!! I would say that these entries pretty much sum up the Daily Mail……
(Originally in the Guardian.)
50-inch plasma TV: What people on the dole buy with their benefits to watch Jeremy Kyle. Hard-working middle-class people cannot afford such fripperies due to the high cost of private education and BUPA.
Arts, The: Evil leftist conspiracy to create things that ordinary people don’t understand and wouldn’t want on or above their mantelpiece or in their conservatory. See also Modern Art.
Autism: Caused by MMR jabs Autism is a terrible disease created by New Labour to stifle dissent in young people.
Benefits: Any money given by the government to people who are too lazy to work. Currently stands at £200 per week.
Chavs: Chavs breed with other chavs and produce chavlings, thus diluting the gene pool and devolving the species. You see Darwin was right – but only about chavs. See also Evolution.
Clinical Depression: a) Fake illness of choice for chavs when they claim sickness benefit. b) Imaginary complaint usually affecting career-women who simply can’t do a man’s job so pretend to be sick instead. c) Real illness affecting 80% of the downtrodden middle-classes who pay all the taxes in this nation yet get nothing back from the state.
Cole, Cheryl: The new Princess Di (now that both Di and Jade Goody are dead).
Comprehensive school: An expensive baby-sitting service for yobs. Offers classes in such subjects as becoming a teen mum, turning gay and communism. Minimal teaching of the Three R’s.
Dyslexia: a) What doctors tell chav parents to cover-up the fact their kids are morons & to allow said denizens of the underclass to grab more cash in benefits. b) Would be cured overnight if we brought the cane back in schools. c) Terrible illness suffered by many famous people, including Richard Branson.
Free Market, The: An economic idea appealed to when it suits one, and abhorred when it does not. For example; economic migrants are to be reviled, yet cheap food in supermarkets is our birthright.
Fury: Middle Englanders tutting audibly.
Good immigrant: Those from Australia, the US, New Zealand or Gurkhas. Good immigrants all work hard and never claim any benefits at all. As an added bonus they tend to be white (well, Gurkhas aren’t, but Joanna Lumley is). See also Immigrant, Illegal immigrant, Asylum Seeker.
Holiday: a) Something hard-working middle-class people cannot afford due to Broon’s tax grab. b) Something hard-working middle-class people have to go on every month in order to get away from Broon. c) A way to escape the foreigners in England.
Kenya, Tanzania, Uganda, Egypt, Nigeria, Gambia and Ghana: British. Or should be. Long as they all stay over there.
London: The centre of the known universe (except the bits where foreign people live.)
Murder: a dreadful crime that only occurs when a middle class white person is killed.
Pinochet: Benevolent, honest, upstanding former leader or Chile. A Totally misunderstood character.
Piracy: a) What Somalis do when they can’t claim benefits in Britain. b) The act of downloading films from the Internet which costs 14,000,000 jobs in UK creative industries and funds Al-Quaeda. c) Supercool ships that would broadcast decent pop music in the 1960s thus breaking the monopoly of the leftist Beatles-loving BBC.
Revolt: Mass outbreak of tutting from behind the twitching curtains of Middle England.
Slave trade: Good when it happened, bad that it has to be taught in schools.
Un-poverty: State of luxury living enjoyed by chavs, the so-called ’sick’ and pensioners unwise enough to not own property thanks to our over-generous benefits system. Contrast with real poverty which inflicts the hard-working, overtaxed middle-classes and nice expats in Spain whose villa prices have dropped – which is also Broon’s fault.
1. I’m not going to go on about how vile I find Jan Moir of the Daily Mail because I’m quite talked out on the subject. That mixed with a desire to mail her a shit in a box. If anything her disgusting excuse for an apology will only add fuel to the fire. All of this from a woman who has a face for radio and the talent of… well… Kerry Katona.
2. SOAS Cleaners. I beg with you unwashed Hippies of SOAS please let this drop!
The first point is as follows; I don’t care how you think things should be and how things should be run, whether there should be anarchy or communism or what ever equally ridiculous shite you’ve read on your SWP porn sites this morning. The fact is we have a State. Good, bad or ugly it is there, it exists and you must understand the entity that you are dealing with. This entity has laws, laws that you and I must attempt not to fall foul of if we want a quiet life. Again you probably disagree with many of these laws but here’s the crack; no one gives a fuck about what you think.
Here are the facts; these cleaners that you constantly (fucking) go on about were working in the UK illegally. They were breaking the law. They knew this, they accepted that fact and still chose to proceed. Everyone knows the consequences of working in another country illegally. So please stop acting all surprised that they were deported. They took a risk and after a rather long time lost out. Plus the fact their cleaning abilities were at best diabolically bad. (First female toilets around the corner from reception, I wouldn’t let a farm animal go to the toilet in there – repulsive. Don’t give the crap about how much they are used, they are the first toilets a female visitor will use and should be kept clean even if it means cleaning them every half an hour.)
I’m not being heartless (well I am but that’s besides the point right now) it is legal fact.
Many laws especially those dealing with immigration are there for a reason. It is not nationalist or racist to have an immigration quota as long as the procedures of immigration themselves are fair, as in they do not discriminate based on sex, nationality, race, religion, sexuality etc. I think something akin to the Australian points based system of immigration is fair. It rewards anyone who has the skills the country requires and their English language ability. Furthermore, nor do I find it arrogant or imperialist to assume that were the UK (or many other Western nations for that matter) to have no immigration laws then there would be somewhat of an influx. (EU 2004 – even the government admitted that they had underestimated.)
In terms of immigration a country is very much like a business, it only needs certain people. A functioning business doesn’t just hire people because it feels sorry for them or just for the hell of it. It hires the people it needs. Obviously for a country this list often goes to the tune of Doctors, Nurses, Teachers, Engineers, Scientists etc. (Not social scientists – no one needs us.) I’m sorry if these rather straight forward in essence laws don’t compute for you who live on socialist happy clappy la la land.
So there. Don’t even get me started on asylum. If one is supposed to claim asylum in the first “safe” country they come across how does the UK have asylum seekers? It is an Island. Even coming by sea the chances that you will go from your home nations territorial water to that of the UK (even via International water) is about 0.0000000000001%….
3. I’m doing a course this year called Islam & Democracy. Being final year I’m just having to choose the best of a bad bunch in terms of courses as I’ve already done the ones I’m more interested in. Though I’m sure this will be an ok course and relatively interesting I can’t help but think that given my views on religion studying a course such as “Islam & Democracy” is much akin to studying something entitled “Harry Potter & Democracy” or “Monty Python & Democracy.” Essentially <insert fictional thing here> & democracy. This is not anti Islamic, I find all religions ridiculous, especially Christianity.
4. Favourite song of the moment. It was never released as a single, hence the lack of an entertaining MTV friendly video.
In political news; ugh. The general election really can’t come soon enough. I’m not even going there with the expenses scandals as it would turn into a thesis. Let’s just say that whatever party you belong to, unless you are a one eyed troglodyte with point five of a brain cell, you knew damn well you were ripping the piss out of the tax payer with 75% of your expense claims. Yes, most, or at least a fair amount of people milk their employer a little bit with various things, expenses being one of those things. But come the fuck on. Who calls out a Bose technician to re-calibrate their home speaker system and then charges it to the tax payer.
In essence much of the above situation can be compared to the UK laws on burglary. Essentially, if one steals from a business or corporate property etc the punishment is more lenient than for someone who stole from a private dwelling. Thus; slightly creative expenses claims (and let’s face it, never as good as the MP’s ones) from an employee belonging to a company that does business and turns a profit is one thing. BUT farcical claims that the tax payer has to foot the bill for are quite frankly out of order. Jesus H. Christ, isn’t the tax payer crippled and mocked enough with the mere existence of the Royal Family?! Just because the Royal Yacht Britannia was decommissioned doesn’t mean MP’s can use the money saved to fund the cleaning of swimming pools!
Yes, I do agree that MP’s are (slightly) under paid and this should be re-dressed, but then isn’t most of the public sector? You knew the salary before you attempted to get elected and you proceeded forth knowing the situation. So don’t belly ache about it all now.
I am actually at a point were I find the current Labour government utterly vile. They have gone from being a reasonably pragmatic party that (and yes it has to be admitted) have done a decent amount of good on the home front since 1997. Now I feel that they have been in power too long, they take its trappings for granted with little thought given to an end in sight. There are endless idiotic decisions and lack of enthusiasm. I eagerly await hearing the news sometime in the coming May that Labour have been voted out with delightful numbers of their MP’s losing their seats.
I can’t wait, or rather half of me can’t wait. The other more intelligent and academic half worries because really there is no viable alternative. David Cameron, David Cameron. A poster boy of the “new” conservatism that has duped many who believed in awe inspiring social mobility because they purchased their council dwelling for all of £10,000. Believe me, he only looks better because of the dire state of the opposition. I don’t doubt that he is likely to be our next PM, but that doesn’t mean to say that I endorse it. As for the Liberal Democrats… They couldn’t successfully run a tap let alone a country.
Maybe the answer is the cherry pick the most able MPs of the bunch regardless of their party and make a hybrid administration.
Just to clarify, I have no affiliation to a political party. Thought I have tended to vote Labour now and again. I agree totally with none and generally speaking we don’t live in an age were one party will make or break a country, nor even change it that greatly. Our lives do not hinge on the outcome of a general election in deferential England. To put it in layman’s terms though, it is a crying shame that all of the options on the current political stage are such a shower of shit.
One thing I do genuinely look forward to though is seeing my former Lib Dem Mayor, appointed by positive discrimination and generally irritant human being Rosie Copper MP being thrown out of her constituency office faster than anyone can say fuck-off. I will, all being well, be voting constructively to ensure this outcome.
/end politics.
I’ve probably mentioned this before because I get so much enjoyment out of it. I love the fact that a good 80% of the sporty elite from High School are now fat. Not even a little chubby. Outright fat. Over weight with a good solid obese BMI. I am in no position to talk when it comes to all issues weight but the reason I love this so much is how they all acted at the time. How they pranced around like Gods proverbial gift to the world because they were almost-but-not-quite county level ability when it came to throwing a netball etc. And now, they are EFF AY TEE. ”I have been awarded a special school tie for my contribution to sports.” Really. I have a brain. Let’s face it, being clever and being good at sport rarely meet in the same body… It is such a shame there was no special tie for all of the people in the top set to wear to separate us from our lesser abled school chums. But then that would probably have caused uproar because everyones little darling is a genius.
Other moans of the day (apart from a zillion..) cyclists. Why do they think that the highway code does not apply to them?! If there is a red light because people are crossing it does not mean that a cyclist can just randomly keep on cycling. IT IS A RED LIGHT and YOU MR. CYCLIST shalt obey it in the same way as any other driver. There are hundreds of other examples of things cyclists do but basically the bottom line is; stop moaning about being knocked off of your bike when you can’t even follow the rules. If you are someone who does obey the rather simple highway code, then please try and convince your Dickhead two wheeled friends to do the same.
Lest we forget when they ride in the bus lane (sadly this is allowed) and they hold up the bus because they are slower than an asthmatic snail with heavy shopping! (ref. Blackadder for the latter.)
Smokers; check which way the wind is blowing. You may think that black is the new black when it comes to the colour of your lungs, but I don’t. I used to be far more tolerant of smoking – not that I have ever really indulged in said activity. However as smoking has been pushed further and further away from the bounds of civil society, when it does rear its repugnantly smelly head it seems so much worse than it did when it was everywhere. Absence is actually making the heart grow even more intolerant as opposed to fonder.
Ongoing moans: children (the existence of,) “mothers” on buses with baby buggies and Royal Mail.
So, a some what (un)regrettable 7 month hiatus. For no real reason.
Where have I been? North, South, East and West. I have crossed seas, oceans and vast expanses of land in search of lolz, rofls and omgz. My search bore much fruit. The same things still evoke love and horror in me. I still hate bus drivers and women with baby buggies on said buses.
Like all good comebacks this post is accompanied by much fanfare, pyrotechnics with a smattering of dry ice as I make my appearance. If you can’t see the aforementioned then your browser must not support such things. In that case you have my pity.
before I should never really have doubted that it was going to be a good show. They played for 3 hours straight, from 8pm until 11 and it was an energetic show not just them standing around.
^^ 2004 S E Bikes Floval Flyer. Essentially a BMX cruiser. Here’s to many happy miles around the B roads of London, or at least to Maccie D’s and back. Thank you investment dividend for this new present. In your face credit crunch.